YOU KNOW I DON’T THINK THIS IS HOW THE SONG GOES
"if you’re straight then why did you say she was hot"
yo i’m straight not blind
One time a nun at my school saw a hot guy and said “woah God did a nice job on that one” and we all looked at her like ??? and she goes “I’m allowed to look at the menu I just can’t order”
Book borrowing is the biggest form of true love it’s like, “Here’s a piece of my soul that I think you would enjoy.”
*slow clap for the harry potter fandom*
once my baby was being really annoying so i put it in the basement but then i forgot and decided i didn’t want my basement anymore so i got rid of the door and then decided to do the rest later and when child protective services came they couldn’t get to my kid so they just wandered around my house
i’m talking about the sims please don’t call the police
Three photos taken in the same place, different times of the year.
OK SO MY FIRE ALARM JUST WENT OFF BECAUSE MY STEPFATHER BURNED SOME TOAST
BUT I DIDNT KNOW THAT
SO NOW MY PARENTS ARE IN HYSTERICS LAUGHING AT ME BECAUSE I RAN OUTSIDE WITH MY COMPUTER AND ITS CHARGER IN MY ARMS
MY FIRST THOUGHT IN A FIRE IS SAVE THE COMPUTER
on my grave, it will read “regretting all the ships that never sailed” and some people will think it’s poetic, but others will know
so other than that, mrs. lincoln, how was the play
i dont play assassins creed, but is this like the entire plotline or something??
[UNWARRANTED AMERICAN DECLARATION OF FREEDOM]
[european scream of shut the fuck up, america]
[0 fucks given by spain]